What a Day

4 September 2018

Day 1 – Today I just got made an appointment with the dentist to do some scaling and polishing on my teeth. They told me to come back on 04/10/2018 for scaling, polishing and filling procedures. I’m too lucky today, I met a very good looking dentist ( I think all of us might feel the same when we got a good looking dentist who going to check your teeth, it feel very shy to show them and it even hard to open your mouth wide).  Well, I don’t expect too much as we all know that the government dental need to wait a long period before doing any procedures on your teeth except the extraction on your teeth. At first I was so worried that I’m not be able to undergo my scaling for the next month as the convocation will be held on October too (convocation date still unconfirmed). I hope I’ll make it for both convocation and my scaling procedures. I waited it for so long & I don’t want to make any dental appointment again, it is so tired to meet them.

I spend a lot of money for the transportation fees and lunch. I got so worried since I don’t have a job right now and I almost used all my saving money( I don’t know whether I can survive with a few ringgit for the next month). This kind of problem almost occurred on everyone else since we don't know how to manage the money so well and obviously we only how to spend money without making more money afterward. It felt ashamed to ask money from your parent when you know the reality you are able to go to work and still healthy, there no reason for you not going to work. I really want to get a good jobs, getting paid for every month were does not has to worry to spend all the money since we earned it by yourself. But for now, I enjoyed being unemployed ahaha (what a great pleasure lying on the bed whole day without doing anything ). I do I felt so worry that I might end up being unemployed but I hope nope.

I have a lot of concerned these days, my mind feel miserable right now and I can’t think rationally. I don’t even know why I keep concerned unnecessary things. I felt confused on every things that I’ve done even though I able to achieve one of my goals this month. What am I going to do next? This question kept on repeating and I felt pressured as I push my limit to get out from this comfort zone. I also got a lot of new plan for the next list to be a new chapter in my life but I’m not sure that I’m doing the right thing for the next story of me, the new identity and the new character of myself. So far, I achieved a lot of things and yet I’m still not happy with it. I know that life is about appreciated everything we had but why it still not enough?  It not about how happy you are when you with your friend nor your family or how rich you are, it about how you treat yourself. That it!

I do concern on my health too something like mental issue, stress and depression ( I’ve been in depression a few years ago where I don’t seek any professional help and only being helpless that times ). I realize that I was slightly changed whenever being socialize with people. I really hope that this matter won’t happen again. I promise.