Pengerindu Sebayan Part 6

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Taman Hijau 4C blok 2A
Alai Pengajar Jessica diau.

Berasai lelak isi bekau pulai ngjar tadi pia mega pemedis ka diasai ba tubuh nyau ngerampit ngagai pala nyepi diri empu bakanya dia aku lalu makai ubat dikena ngenan ka pedis isi.

Aku ngerebah ka diri ba peninduk ngica ka tubuh pulai regas baru.

Enda berasai mata nyau lelap, kaki jari pan nyau lempung bekau ti udah makai ubat tadi.

‘Manah mua amat mua ari saritu, ngaum pejalai aku ga mua ari saritu. Jauh pejalai tu legi, arapka jampat datai ba menua sida indai tu legi enggai ka malam datai din’ pia ku peragam aku kediri. Aku mupuk engkira kediri deka pulai ka menua, gaga meh indai meda penatai anak asi iya tu legi.

Nama utai tu nyelai amat diasai?

Disingkang ka kaki enda ga ulih bejalai. Semua utai dipeda nyau bebali magang. Rumah bebali nyadi kampung puang sereta utai ditengkira aku tadi mega lenyau.

Bakani aku tau ulih merau tu ?

Dini menua tu ?

Malik kulu nadai ga meda mensia, semina kampung puang aja pia mega nadai ga meda urang merau begulai enggau aku. Perau ka dikena aku berupai perau lama enda nyalah baka perau bayak ka urang ti udah nadai. Kayu dikena ngaga luan perau nya bisi mega bekau repuk.

Enda manah perau tu, ulih enda aku datai di menua negi?

Nadai ga injin moto ba perau nya ti semina siti pengayuh lama aja dikena aku mutarka perau nya.

Merening ke kiba asai kala meda menua tu tang enda ingat ka ba dini?

Enda ga langkang sungai ulih ga ditengah aku ka merau tu legi taja perau tu udah lama.

‘ Jangka aku tu jalai ai pulai ka menua laban ngelama tu enda kala betengah ka jalai ai lebuh pulai ka menua. Nadai ngawa ga taja enda kala nengah jalai ai, amat meh datai ba menua’.

Begadai-gadai maut sengayuh,perau pan nyau belubah-lubah ngili sungai. Munyi angin ti bepuput liyut mansa pending,bisi mega munyi jelu dikampung baka engkeruak sereta jelu terebai aja didinga. Mayuh macham utai tumbuh baka paku,meding sereta utai tumbuh ti bukai ti enda kelala manah amat tumbuh sebelah tebing. Tu meh terubah aku merau ngili kampung puang, nadai kala meda pemanah utai digaga petara ti bakatu. Laban ka ngerumban ka datai ba menua aku nadai runding deka ngetu sebelah rantau ngenangka kediri aja merau.

Pemuas ka merau ari pan nyau belabuh lemai, enda berasai lama diri ga merau ari tadi tang siti pan nadai meda rumah urang ti semina kampung puang aja ari tadi. Anang ka meda rumah urang, langkau umai pan nadai dipeda.

‘Idup enda aku tu legi ari tadi nadai meda rumah panjai urang sepemenjai ngili sungai tambah mega bayak nu ngeraus jari pan nyau lemi bekau ti merau ari tadi. Enda temu dini alai tu, alu nadai meda mensia ari tadi.
Ari pan nyau ka ngalih malam, ti bakatu manah agi aku bemalam sebelah kerangan malam tu pagila mupuk baru ga merau. Merau maya malam enda ga kala, manah ga aku belelak dulu. Ulih ga begiga ke anak utai tumbuh dia awakka bisi ka engakayu dikena matah ka lengan lemai tu’ pia ku sagam ati aku.

Benung ka nyangkai perau ba kerangan, enda mukai-mukai perau nyau berenyang baka ke bisi utai ngusak enda ga ai deras semina perau aja ka begusak. Nadai ga bah tunggal ari ili tauka ari ulu ti semina perau tu aja ka berenyang. Nadai mega tanah di seberai berenyang, alit ati meda utai ti bansa tu. Nyau rawan ati meda utai ti bansa tu laban ka nadai daya sepengudah ti bekayuh seari-ari.

‘ Mati aku tu legi,alu nadai ngentu perau tu berenyang. Enti nuan antu gerasi, antu ai, antu tanah ti nguan menua tu anang nganu aku. Aku semina datai kitu deka sangkai bemalam, anang nganu aku’ ku aku besampi.

Meda bakanya dipaut aku kayuh enda ga datai, diwit ka kayuh pan enda datai sengayuh ba mua ai. Perau pan nadai ga berinsul. Ka ngemutarka diri pansut ari perau enda ga ulih, tubuh asai ka bisi utai nepan berat magang tubuh sereta kaki. Pemuas ka begusak, dia deh perau aku asaika dikalih ka urang. Tubuh asaika diketik urang enda nyalah baka ka dibuai urang ari pala wong. Perau ditepan aku pan nyau karam pia mega tubuh aku asai ka dipaut orang ke dalam sungai.

Enggau naka pemendar aku ngelaban arus sungai mutarka diri awak ka enda karam begulai enggau perau nya.Bendar ngemai tubuh tu nyemerai sereta ngelaban ari gulu ai sungai. Bendar ni ngelaban diri ari gulu ai sungai, majak dalam ka agi tubuh aku ditarit.

‘Parai meh aku tu legi! Kasih tudah indai, nadai meh iya nemu anak iya parai lemas. Iga ga nadai siku urang mansa  nulung aku ka ditinggang penusah tu’.

Parai aku tu legi, parai!

“ Jessica ! …Jessica ! Dani..!”

Aku lalu tedani ninga sada nyawa Ana ti ngusak tubuh aku ngasuh dani.

‘Mimpi rawan baru. Nyelai amat, mimpi ti sebaka baru’

“Mimpi rawan baru Jess?” ku Ana
nyapa sepengudah iya ngerak aku.

“ Au, enda pungkang mimpi rawan belama ”

-“ Nuan tinduk maya mekang ari, nya meh ka bulih mimpi rawan ” ku saut Ana.

Ana berasal ari Miri ti begulai sama alai diau enggau aku. Iya mega benung nyambung pelajar ba sekula alai aku belajar tang iya belajar ba bidang betanam betupi. Kami seduai bekelala bepun ari taun nyin kemari. Mayanya aku benung ngiga kaban ti sama ka bekungsi alai diau pia mega iya. Bepun ari nya kami duai nyau baka diri menyadi laban kaul kami duai endang chukup rapat enggau pangan diri.

“ Udah nya Jess, mandi kin nuan. Nurun makai tua udah tu”

“ Kediri nuan aja meh, berasai enda nyamai isi aku saritu bai aku lelak ngajar tadi . Aku makai di rumah aja saritu”

“ Enti pia kediri nuan aja ditu legi, aku ngemai urang bukai ga”

“ Au ”

Ana lalu ninggal ka aku kediri ba rumah.

Pandak singkang kaki nuju ke bilik mandi laban ka lembau bekau ti baru dani. Aku pan lalu beradu ka diri.

Suah aku bemimpi rawan bulan tu.

Nama kebuah tau bakanya?

Tubuh mega berasai enda nyamai tiap kali bemimpi rawan. Nama  meh reti mimpi ti bansa nya , bisi enda iya ngemai penusah enti pulai ka menua ?

Pemuas bekenang ka mimpi rawan, dia deh aku berasai tekenyit meda tubuh aku empu.

Bakani tau bisi madai ba dada aku?

Ari ni penatai utai tu?

Dibayam aku abi madai nya nadai ga berasai pedis. Enda ga besai abi madai nya, enda nyalah baka pemesai tunjuk jari indai kitai nya.

Kati tau tumbuh utai tu?  Nadai ga ditinggang utai berat dada tu tadi.

Enggau sapa aki ku Remy tadi?

Aki begulai enggau aku?

Kada enda aki nya…..

What a Day

4 September 2018

Day 1 – Today I just got made an appointment with the dentist to do some scaling and polishing on my teeth. They told me to come back on 04/10/2018 for scaling, polishing and filling procedures. I’m too lucky today, I met a very good looking dentist ( I think all of us might feel the same when we got a good looking dentist who going to check your teeth, it feel very shy to show them and it even hard to open your mouth wide).  Well, I don’t expect too much as we all know that the government dental need to wait a long period before doing any procedures on your teeth except the extraction on your teeth. At first I was so worried that I’m not be able to undergo my scaling for the next month as the convocation will be held on October too (convocation date still unconfirmed). I hope I’ll make it for both convocation and my scaling procedures. I waited it for so long & I don’t want to make any dental appointment again, it is so tired to meet them.

I spend a lot of money for the transportation fees and lunch. I got so worried since I don’t have a job right now and I almost used all my saving money( I don’t know whether I can survive with a few ringgit for the next month). This kind of problem almost occurred on everyone else since we don't know how to manage the money so well and obviously we only how to spend money without making more money afterward. It felt ashamed to ask money from your parent when you know the reality you are able to go to work and still healthy, there no reason for you not going to work. I really want to get a good jobs, getting paid for every month were does not has to worry to spend all the money since we earned it by yourself. But for now, I enjoyed being unemployed ahaha (what a great pleasure lying on the bed whole day without doing anything ). I do I felt so worry that I might end up being unemployed but I hope nope.

I have a lot of concerned these days, my mind feel miserable right now and I can’t think rationally. I don’t even know why I keep concerned unnecessary things. I felt confused on every things that I’ve done even though I able to achieve one of my goals this month. What am I going to do next? This question kept on repeating and I felt pressured as I push my limit to get out from this comfort zone. I also got a lot of new plan for the next list to be a new chapter in my life but I’m not sure that I’m doing the right thing for the next story of me, the new identity and the new character of myself. So far, I achieved a lot of things and yet I’m still not happy with it. I know that life is about appreciated everything we had but why it still not enough?  It not about how happy you are when you with your friend nor your family or how rich you are, it about how you treat yourself. That it!

I do concern on my health too something like mental issue, stress and depression ( I’ve been in depression a few years ago where I don’t seek any professional help and only being helpless that times ). I realize that I was slightly changed whenever being socialize with people. I really hope that this matter won’t happen again. I promise.